But he said to them, “I have food to eat that you know nothing about.” John 4:32
Sex is like dynamite. It can clear obstacles and provide a path to intimacy, or it can destroy homes created by years of loving labor. It is a natural and extremely powerful human desire. And God created it! What was He thinking?
The physical pleasure of sex, like every other earthly pleasure is an expression of its Source, in Whom is its ultimate fulfillment. All pleasures are intended to point us to the Creator of pleasure and result in our worship of Him.
Does this mean it is possible to be sexually satisfied without sex?
It means there exists in Christ a satisfaction that is deeper than sex, of which sex is a physical representation. One may still crave the physical experience, but beyond it is a satisfaction that is superior to it. Many spiritually-minded people for whom sex, for various reasons, is either currently or no longer an option can attest to this.
Jesus felt physical hunger. On one occasion He had not eaten, and recognizing this, His disciples sought to give Him some food. But Jesus’ response was “I have food to eat that You know nothing about.” They puzzled over where He had gotten food and Jesus further explained, “My food is to do the will of Him who sent me and to accomplish His work.” The very real and powerful appetite for physical sustenance was subjugated by the deeper satisfaction of Jesus’ fellowship and partnership with His Father.
Like everyone else, I have diversions that bring me pleasure, but there are times in my relationship with the Lord where the connection with Him is such that He is a greater attraction.
And yes, when those foretastes of heaven with Him pass, the cravings for the earthly pleasures may return. But knowing that with Him and in Him is superior joy and satisfaction brings me back again and again to Him. Knowing what is possible in Him beckons me to trust Him through the cravings, even as I acknowledge them, to find in Him the fulfillment that many “know nothing about.” In that sense, “self-denial” is not a sacrifice of pleasure but an upgrade.
However, it is very important to understand there is nothing wrong with pleasure in the right context. Food, entertainment, sex, friendship, material things are not wrong to enjoy. In fact the Scripture instruct us that God gave them to us to enjoy. The point is He is the Creator and Supplier of those pleasures and therefore He Himself is a superior source. There is always “more” in Him.
Apprehending this truth is a process that the Lord wants to lovingly and patiently coach us through. Part of that coaching involves creatively providing for us along the way ideas, activities and resources to ease the physical craving for inaccessible or inappropriate sexual relations while strengthening our personal and ultimately satisfying relationship with Him.
Dan S. Baty is the pastor of Valley Brook Community Church in Columbia, Maryland. You can write to him Pastor@ValleyBrook.church or follow him on Facebook @ Dan S. Baty.)